Posted in expression

many splintered thing

the saying goes that love is a many splendored thing,

the fine print though is that it entirely depends on the person dispensing said love

there are those who seek to be air,

breathing life and laughter so deep that you have no choice but to grow, to fly

there are also those who seek to be splinters,

slashing you just a little bit with words, actions, dismissals, doubts

some of us have grown so accustomed to the consistency of the pain that all we do is quickly acknowledge it and move right along 

paying no mind to the number of scars that have accumulated 

bearing no witness to the need for change

until it is too late

until those splinters – with every tug, every rip – change the very fabric of who we are 

Copyright © 2017 Tamika Brown and 

stock image

Posted in creative writing, creativity, expression



where is your crown

why have you tucked it away

have you locked it away forever

do you ever take a glimpse, wonder what happened

do you believe the lies they tell you

do you believe the lies you tell yourself

do you truly believe that you are no longer king

is that why you don’t treat me as


Copyright © 2017 Tamika Brown and

Image: Basquiat

Posted in creative writing, creativity, expression

love … lost

I should not have said I love you

It was perhaps the most wrong thing I could do
Those words, so powerful, so true.

Those words can raise spirits that are strong enough to receive them

But for those that are not, those words come back as broken glass

Cutting ever deeper the vulnerable flesh of the one who dared utter them

I should not have said I love you

It was perhaps the most wrong thing I could do

You were not ready to receive them

You were not ready to hold them, to keep them safe

You were not ready to return that love

Only, broken glass.

Copyright © 2017 Tamika Brown and

Posted in expression, Uncategorized

The Diagnosis

If we’re completely honest with ourselves, there is always a sign. There is always that very first instance that makes us aware that something exciting is about to happen or that something is wrong. Oftentimes though, we ignore it, we put it to the side. We shrug it off as if it’s nothing.

Towards the end of December 2014 I had an itch on the side of my boob but thought nothing of it. I just thought it was some bumps. I thought – “now that I have some real insurance, I should go see my GYN for a checkup and schedule my mammogram since I’m on the verge of my 40th birthday.”

**It should be noted here that for the previous 4 years I had been in varying states of self/under/un-employment.**

Anyway, fast forward to January 2015 and I finally made an appointment because the small patch I thought were just bumps were still present but felt like they were moving when I would touch them. The PA who did my breast exam in early February described them as “peas”.

She scheduled my mammogram and denied my request for a new birth control prescription … “let’s wait and see what the mammogram says.”

Two weeks later I’m in for my first mammogram which includes a diagnostic. For those who don’t know, this means that in addition to the awkward, super squeezing boob machine there is an ultra-sound type test they do. {there’s a lot more to this part of the story but more on that another time} The results came back and there were 2 suspicious areas.

I got a call from both my GYN and the breast surgeon she recommended me to. Needless to say I was already going nuts — internally of course. NOBODY wants to hear from 1 doctor in a day, let alone 2 …

The very next week I was in for a core needle biopsy, which also has it’s very own story.

My surgeon had decided to biopsy the second area first because of its location. This was not “the peas”. This was an area only detected by the mammogram. She was less worried about this area but wanted to biopsy it first because it would be a little bit more involved than the area of “peas”.

Two weeks later I was in for the results. I was as nervous as nervous could be. But, I consoled myself with this thought while I was waiting for the doctor. Don’t laugh.

I was sitting in the exam room, fully dressed, waiting for what felt like an eternity and thought “You know what? It’s fine. Everything is fine. In all the movies and tv shows the doctor takes you into their office if it’s bad news. I’m not in her office. I’m in the exam room, fully dressed to boot! It’s fine. I’m fine”

The doctor breezed in, with 2 interns in tow, said hi, grabbed her little stool, rolled over to me, put her hand on my leg while simultaneously saying:

It’s cancer.

For those keeping count, in the span of roughly 5 weeks I went from being just Tamika to Tamika-with-a-cancer-diagnosis.

Copyright 2016 Tamika Brown/The Fyne Prynt 

Posted in Uncategorized

Well Ain’t That A …

So I was sitting at my desk speaking to a colleague {white woman} when another colleague {Black man} walked up. 

He was looking for vending machine change from my “change pot”.

He pulled money from his pocket, he only had billsz

I started dancing .. a la stripper meme when money comes out.

She held her hand out …

She then commented: “you started dancing, I just held my hand out…”

We all laughed but hours later I find myself thinking “well damn, ain’t that how life is …”

Some gotta put in werk, others, need simply to hold out a hand.

Posted in creative writing, creativity, expression


I don’t know what it is I’m looking for but I am aware to my core that I have not yet found it.
It is lurking and leering and calling to me but I don’t know where it is.
It taunts me and aggresses me and deprives me of any promise of satisfaction.
There are fleeting moments when I feel as though I’m close, so close but that moment passes and I realize just how far away I am.
Is there a secret passageway? A gateway accessible only to those who possess a power unknown to me?
Is the struggle meant to be interminable? Only receiving praise when it is too late to fully enjoy it?
Is it desperation or an inability to escape that makes the point break?
Where are you?
What are you?
Why are you so intent on fleeing from me?

Copyright © 2014 Tamika Brown and


Posted in creative writing, creativity, lust



I wanted it to be you and you alone.

Your gaze, your ways, of saying all the right things at the right times.
Your sense of self that somehow made me feel myself; embrace me for all that I have been, will be, am now.
Your touch was unmatched even from day to day; when I thought that there would never be anything so good and certainly nothing better.
But then, tomorrow came and your hands would prove me wrong … again.
Trailing along journeys of love, of lust, of desire, of time.

I wanted it to be you and you alone.

Copyright © 2014 Tamika Brown and

Image: Sipo