commentary – The Fyne Prynt

put the kettle on

Life is truly about ebbing and flowing; ups and downs; giving and taking. But if we are not careful, if we do not take good care of ourselves we can end up flailing about, constantly searching for our buoyancy. And of course, when we flail, we run the risk of grabbing for anything in search of salvation.

And it’s funny how it happens, we roll right along, doing the ten million things we do. Working, listening, giving, creating … constantly pouring out. All the while, not noticing our own meter. Not noticing that we are not being poured into.

Take parenting for instance. Although I haven’t done the official math on it, I believe that 100% of the time, parents will only receive about a 10% return on “parental investment”. Our children love us, but simply do not care about how much we do to, with and for them. We can bake five thousand cookies the night before a bake sale because a teacher sent a last-minute note in desperate need. We do it for the love of our children, for the support of teachers whom we also love. In return, we may/possibly/not likely receive a pre-typed thank you note in return.

Anyway, you get my meaning on that. I am not delusional enough to think that there is ever a point at which we receive in the same measure what we give. And although the numbers will differ, every aspect of our lives have a measure of input-output which should ultimately balance out.

Confession. I have a terrible problem of monitoring my meter. Whenever I commit to something, I really commit. I’m not a perfectionist but I do place a high expectation on myself to create the best thing or love honestly and without hesitation.

I also have a terrible problem of not demanding that which I pour. And because of this, I at times find myself at points of near-emptiness. All while simultaneously being filled with tears and longing. Filled with a desire to be poured into. Filled with a longing to be loved honestly and without hesitation.

It’s amazing just how much space absence can take up.

Thankfully though, I understand the importance of self-care, of saying no to other people and things. Of saying yes to myself. For now, this is enough to allow me the space to continue to grow stronger in voicing my needs with the full expectation of being poured into …

Almost against my will I have been consumed this week by the trial of Michael David Dunn in the shooting death of unarmed teenager, Jordan Davis. And when I say consumed I mean, keeping tabs on progress, watching the live stream of the trial, having ‘twittersation’ about it … the whole nine yards.

And there is just so much to it: seeing the justice system in action; listening to those not involved provide their opinions; and seeing the lives of the victims, accusers and people they know literally laid out for the world to see – in the form of questions and answers.

If you are unaware of the case you can learn more here but while you’re learning, I’m just going to go ahead and share my thoughts okay? Ok. The facts as we know them are that Dunn fired 10 shots into the car the four boys were in after he got into a verbal spar with one of them because the music was “too loud”.

I am concerned.

I’m concerned that too few people seem interested in what’s happening with this case and its many implications. Like the Zimmerman trial, the defendant is accused of shooting a young Black male because he “felt threatened”.
I’m also concerned that a 45 year old man would not simply move his car or leave the parking lot altogether.
I’m concerned that all too easily the blame has been shifted to the boys in the car and that there is a sense of “they probably deserved it”.

I am dumfounded.

I can’t seem to wrap my mind around the fact that you can simply say you “felt” threatened – by people in a car and you were in your car – and fire, not one or two warning shots, but TEN shots into a vehicle at close range.
I also can’t imagine why not simply more your vehicle if you felt the music was “too loud” – after all, you pulled your vehicle up beside theirs.

I am sad.

Undoubtedly, children can do and say some really outrageous things when they are out of the presence of their caregivers (I have firsthand knowledge as a parent and as a formerly stubborn youngster). That is understandable. But how is it that we have gotten to a point where their childish/immature behavior is being met with oftentimes serious bodily harm and death?
Why are so many parents grieving the loss of their children?

I am aware that race absolutely matters.

No one ever wants to talk about the “r” word. I have mentioned that before and I wholeheartedly believe it. People who are not ‘melanin rich’ will never understand the role that race plays in everyday life, and personally I think it’s ridiculous to even have that expectation. But I do think it is important to have conversation about it.

In this particular case, the situation is simple:
– 4 Black males sitting in a parked truck with tinted windows blasting music
– 1 White male pulls up beside them, becomes agitated by their music, begins a word exchange, ends with firing 10 shots into Jordan Davis’ window

If the situation was reversed and there were 4 white males and 1 Black male ….

Would he have felt emboldened or entitled enough to pull up beside, and then ask them to turn the radio down?
Would he have felt safe enough to ride around with a concealed weapon?
Would he have been able to not even be questioned until the following day?
Would he not have been arrested and charged 3 days after the murder took place?
Would he have been able to put forth Stand Your Ground as a defense? (see Marissa Alexander)

I’m just going to leave this here for now.

Photo of Jordan Russell Davis
from actionnewsjax

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Tag: commentary

Pouring Out

Culture Commentary: Your Music Is Too Loud